My labor. January 16, 2012

I want to share with you the most important hours and minutes of my life – those when my son was born. I will post here a text I wrote in my diary about that special day.

“The last week of my pregnancy was hard on me. I had horrible migraines. So I was waiting for my baby to be born and wanted it to happen as soon as possible. So it happened on the 38th week of my pregnancy. Elisey was born 52 cm long and with the birth weight 3840 g.

I didn’t sleep the night before labor. I’ve been searching on the internet about how to make labor start faster and went to bed hoping to meet my son soon. But I couldn’t fall asleep. Besides, Kiara seemed nervous, whined and roamed the house. That’s when the water broke up. At 5:20 am. Feeling happy and excited, I cuddled up to my husband asking if he would take me to the hospital himself. He woke up, started smiling and watched me running around, packing my begs and talking.

Then I took shower, drank my tea with milk and at 7:30 am we were at the hospital. Maxim stayed with me for a while, then left for work and I was examined by the doctor. Fights weren’t strong so I could lay down on the bed and even rest.

Then fights became stronger and I started closing my eyes with one hand and silently beat the wall with another one. But I didn’t scream – I thought it was almost the end and was going to be a good patient. Oh how wrong I was!

When the doctor examined me for the second time he told me it didn’t move on. So they placed a drip in my veins on the outer side of my hand. And fights became unbearable! I started moaning for each fight dured about 50 seconds while breaks between them last about 1,5 minutes. It were waves of pain, I felt dizzy, nauseus, and I was almost losing consciousness. I became indifferent to everything that was happening, to me there were just me and this awful pain.

Then they made me epidural anaesthesia. Pain became less strong for some 10 minutes and then started growing back, no matter how the doctors added the anaesthesia. When the pushing stage of labor started I was screaming. Pushing was painful, not pushing was painful too and I started begging for cesarean. They told me if I try better my baby would be born in 40 minutes, if not – in 2 hours. But I couldn’t handle it even during 40 minutes…

When I was on a gynecological chair, pain seemed to be endless. I only saw the doctor taking scissors, and then in a few minutes my son was born. He didn’t scream right away and I asked doctors what’s wrong. And heard my baby crying.

I leant back and relaxed. 2:20 pm. No pain. They added anesthesia and started sewing. It was so much painful but I surrendered to it and lied almost silently. My son was lying in front of me, looking at me with his brown eyes.

When doctors finished they brought me my phone. I wrote to my husband that he became father. He called me and thanked me with trembling voice for our son. I couldn’t speak, my voice was breaking up.

The first minutes after my son was born my maternal love didn’t come. All that I felt was the feeling of relief after hours of pain. But then, when I took my son in my arms and pushed him to my chest, I realized how much I loved him. This love is the strongest feeling I’ve ever had”.


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